piccs

this is just for me

Christians and Mary Jane

Upon rolling some joints at school, my friends inquired what my thoughts were on God and whether or not he thinks it is ok for christians to smoke pot. They were curious because they themselves are christians and they did not wish to do any wrongin' towards the Lord. My response, while not condemming, I believe was the right response. Instead of answering their question I asked question myself saying "If smoking weed WAS wrong in his eyes, would you quit? Cause if you wouldn't then it doesn't matter." I think it should be obvious to anyone whether or not God approves of grass, otherwise they wouldn't hide it, stash it, talk quiet whenever it's mentioned, cover their heads, lower their heads or constantly give reasons for why it is OK whenever its place in their lives is questioned.

songs

Ball of Twine by Louis XIV

I'll take a ball of twine and I'll twirl ya
Like a yo-yo on the ground
Ya come up before ya come down

To a ball of twine you're like a yo-yo
running on the ground
You come up before you fall down

Well God saved the Kinks
From the music and the big pinks
'Cause sonny boy, well he's better than ya think

And there are things that I hear on the radio
Where they're singing all the same music fablio
I'd rather listen to the jets from the kitchen sink
So God save the music, and God save the pinks


Lord by Apollo Sunshine

Don't leave me, Lord, if you're really in there

They built you up
Built you so big
So big I can't tell what's imagined
Just a good idea, gone bad
But I LOVE YOU, LORD, for all this
And it's a shame
The way they've made you out
How they made you
They made you some pissed-off man
A whole lot of pissed-off men made YOU

Don't leave me, Lord, if you're really in there

My America

For my digital photography class we were given a project entitled "My America". The aim of the project was to have us students take pictures of things that enveloped our perspective on what america is, and then choose 30 of those pictures to turn in for credit. I originally planned to label all the pictures with songtitles such as "stairway to heaven" and "highway to hell" but the titles wouldn't line up with the pictures, yarrggg.

Movies

These are my thoughts on movies. Any ones that I don't list are probably because they weren't worth remembering.

187:
Bad

Repo Man:
Amazing

Charlie Wilsons's War:
...meh

The Kite Runner

I had to read this book for school, then we had to watch the movie. I actually enjoyed the movie much more then the book, and while it's good, it's just sort of... meh. The characters are VERY good and the relationships really complex, but it's just not that... exciting. It's an interesting journey though. There also some GREAT lines.

Shoot Em' Up

If there was a third feature in "Grindhouse" it would be this. It's gung-ho, gun blazing, outragously over the top from start to finish. It's profoundly graphic in all shapes and sizes and is thouroughly enjoyable for anyone that finds entertainment in people being killed via carrots. That being said, if this movie doesn't interest you in the slightest, avoid it all all costs.
Giamatti plays the quintessential bad guy in this movie, and it's probably the most enjoyable potrayel of a villian I've ever seen, but only because it's such and over-the-top presentation.

oh, and the opening of the movie is amazing.

We Own the Night

This is another great soundtrack movie, and i'm pleased to say that I knew (and love) every single of the songs played in the film.
I really really liked this movie. The twists, characters, story, writing, music, direction and lessons are absolutally fantastic. Pheonix has proven he's one of the best actors ever, ever, while Walhburg continues to prove he's in a lot of good movies where he plays the same character.
At the very least, I think anyone that sees this movie will be engaged and entertained.

The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys

Let me begin by saying this is not a movie about evil child-molesting preachers. The stumbled upon this movie through the recommendation of a teacher *shhh*.
This is a "coming of age" story about two boys growing up as alter boys in a strict catholic system. I really liked the relationship of the two boys, but I feel the movie was damaged whenever it strayed from their relationship and focused on the love interest of one of the two boys. Also, there's a twist involving the love interest that I feel was really uneeded and rather repulsive. It was one of those "ooh that's horrible but this is an indie film so it's ok for that to happen" twists. The ending was also the ending I feared from the start, and it wasn't good and felt more unreal then the animimated sequences that are peppered throughout the mostly live-action movie.
This movie is just a less good version of stand by me. Think "Stand by Me" meets "The Girl Next Door" and that's what you've got.

American Gangster

I really liked the story and i'm glad that I own this, but as a movie I was a little dissapointed. I have yet to watch the "extended" cut, but from what i've seen it's much better. It's possible that my expectations were too high but I don't think that's likely. I did really enjoy this movie, but it's not gladiator. If you want to watch I really good new york gangster movie I'd really recommend "We Own the Night" which features equally talented acting and direction. Come to think of it, I was little dissapointed in the direction of American Gangster, however Ridley Scott did a great job of capturing the "gritty look" of the era.

Eastern Promises

It was between this movie and "We Own the Night". My friend wanted to see this movie and because we couldn't find the later we settled on this film by the same creator of the horrid "History of Violence".
The thing I HATE about the director of this movie, is that I can just see him telling himself how brilliant he is. He is an "artistic" director, and I hate it. His movies are the kind of movies that have very few scenes of violence, but the the violent scenes that are present are appallingly graphic, and the director calls it art.
I hated this movie, I really really hated it. I didn't think things could get worse then this director's last film, but I'd rather honestly watch Doomsday 3 more times then watch another one of his movies.

also, I'd like to take this time to express my irritation with blockbuster. I bought this film because they were closing and it was in the "2 for 20$" bin so it was a quick buy. However, after seeing the film and being monumentally unsatisfied with it, blockbuster did NOT allow me to exchange it for another movie in the same bin. I find that irritating, because for what I know they would have lost nothing in pleasing me. Now i'm stuck with a sh***y movie.

Wow

the past week was one of the fullest i've ever had, and on top of doing many a fun things, I watched around a billion movies, which I'll try to write (consise) reviews for. Those movies (many of which I bought) include

American Gangster
Run Fatboy Run
We Own The Night
Shoot Em' Up
Eastern Promises
The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys

and I also bought across the universe and death sentence. good stuff.

Run Fatboy Run

I enjoyed this more then "Be Kind Rewind" which is slightly similar. In essence this is a romantic comedy about a man that tries to win the girl he ran away from on their wedding day 5 years previous.
This isn't a brilliant film, and the humor is mid to low brow only, but I did enjoy it a lot and it also hosts some fantastic messages.

Deadheads

Everyone, usually, has a gripe of their own. People everyday are annoyed by things they dislike, such as war, drugs or terrible tasting food. My gripe is materialism, along with people that become so obsessed with pleasing themselves that they lose track of what's right. Along with this dislike, I also hate it when teachers don't do their jobs and when adults mislead their young-ones. I equally detest though, when people see these things occuring and do nothing to prevent them.
This brings me to my point, which is going through a detailed analysis of a song I wrote and recorded for a school project. I personally love going online and researching the origins of songs and find out what inspired them. So due to the obscure nature of my song I'll try to explain what I was thinking when I wrote it. (it was originally a love song, haha). While I did write out a solid draft of lyrics for my song, much of it ended up being inextricably changed during the recording process. Below I will write the lyrics to my song, then below that I will re-write them with a detailed explanation of each verse.
To give a general idea of what the song is about, it is about my highschool experience, what I like, and what I don't.

Yesterday I woke
To find that I was broke
I realized I'd smoked my life

(this verse primarily serves as the start of the song by talking about the start of the day. Here I was trying to convey the feeling of waking up and realizing that you have nothing of substance because you've been wasting time with whatever holds your fancy, and haven't been focusing on proper things. For example, people (and everyone at my school) that live for the moment, smoking pot and other fleshly activities wake up to this feeling, along with anyone that isn't really blessed.

And now I'm kickin' back
onna correct track
i'm sick of being mucky and rife

(this verse is about kicking addiction of whatever it is you're addicted to in search of something better)

Well hello there little miss maybe
Are you back to scare us and your baby?
What's the matter? Get up and live.
Is it really that hard to forgive?

(Here I was speaking of individuals that are too obsessed with knowing what other people think, which prevents them for making any independent decisions. It then proceeds to ask the question of "why the heck don't you get up and clean up your act?!")

Come On, get up
out of our zones
what's the worst that can happen?
we're all sick filthy drones

(here I prompt getting up out of your own little world and doing something with anything. So often I see people just zoning out to their ipod, merely looking forward to their next chance to get high, drunk or laid. I think the image of something ignoring others and listening to their ipod is probably the most vivid depiction of a modern day prison that can illustrate. Everyone is too willing to do what they want and not bother with real life. The "what's the worst that can happen" line is one of my life slogans. Whenever I say that, I partially mean that a risk is worth taking, and I also partially try to show the immaturity in doing taking such risks in recognizing that it's risky.)

I heard you heard I heard
that I killed a bird
you beat me
but doll, that's a lie

(this is directed towards the flagarant and false accusations that have buzzed around my school and life. You should always know the truth before you can deal out judgement.)

There's a rumor floatin' through
that I love you
I'd be lyin' if I said that's a lie

(I thought this was cute. I think It conveys the sense of boppy happieness that I like to express.)

You Shouldn't Be Sad
Silly Thing
Such a Shame
Londons Burning

(this verse has a double meaning. This is a depiction of my efforts to cheer people up, while also granting some sympathy to the matter at hand. Also, all the lyrics here are built out of songs by my favorite and most influential bands.

You Shouldin't Be Sad by the Kinks
Silly Thing by the Sex Pistols
Such a Shame by the Kinks
and London's Burning by the Clash)

at this point in the song all the lyrics where just things I was rambling with and don't really mean anything specific.

Things Teachers Should Know
(this was the headline of a poster in a class where I took the WASL. On it was written a list of things "teachers should know" in order to be good teachers. there was however NO WHERE written on the poster anything about actually caring about your students and their education, which I think is the biggest thing a teacher should know and do, otherwise you simply can't teach).

How's that for harmless?!
(this is sort of the endling line of the song. After reviewing what the life of someone that only cares about themselves is like, then hopefully you'll see that it is NOT a harmless lifestyle. "How's that for harmless" was also written as the ending "umph" punch-line on a "don't smoke marijuana while driving" poster in the same WASL classroom I was in. This line was at the end of the poster after listing a list of facts about driving accidents that occured while people were pepped up on pot. The poster simply seemed to me to be a personification of every single poster like it that i've seen. It was rash, brash and unconvincing, and the way it was presented I sadly doubt it will help anyone.)

I just wanna go
why'd they disarm us?
(I adlibbed this. who knows what it means. if I had to make a guess as too what it meant it's talking about leaving school because they don't help (i'm not talking about all school, just certain school's who's teachers don't give a flying flip about their students) and the second line is about taking student's (or just the younger generation's) guts away by leaving them with nothing but ipods to zone out to.)

The last raint thing I say in the "song" is "deadheads" which is what I think too many are turning into.

The OXFORD Tales

I have just finished writing the OXFORD tales which consist of six tragic interlinked stories about the following fictional and fantasy characters.

O xford
X eni
F andy
O ntany
R affagan
D elina

I started writing the first section on the character Oxford as a writing excersise I like to do every year or so, the main goal being to write some clever and odd. After writing the story of a seemingly awful psychopathic murderous dwarf though, I figure I might write more on his world so that I could try to justify his actions. The story is fantasy, but as I look at it this story could be applied to any era or world. I initially wrote it as a fantasy world with dwarfs and gnomes as a joke. It is not often we find creatures like those in my story placed in the positions of those in the OXFORD stories, which I found amusing. I really just ran with the idea of making my first random story about a psycho-killer dwarf work and make sense when looked at with all the pieces together. I did not plan the story when I started it, I just ran with what I thought was funny at the moment, and I guess what was funny at the time I was writing was a cuddly killer dwarf. I'm a little shocked at how horrifically morose the entire story is as a whole, but I'd like some feedback on this crazy adventure.

OH! and I haven't tried reading the story out of order, as it's already out of order, but I ask that you read the stories from first to last. Come to think of it, I haven't really read my story at all, so forgive things that suck ayye?

Live, Delina, Live: The End

Once Upon A Time…

… There lived a sorrowful lady dwarf name Delina. She used to be proud in that she had a husband and wonderful son, however she now mourned that she merely had a son and husband, for they had left her. Her husband was a good man, but he had divorced her so that he might feel better about pursuing more fleshly desires. She still loved her son, but he had become a morose and quiet dwarf who was not very active when it came to doing the right thing. Delina always knew that if the time came for him to bring justice and truth into the world, he would certainly do so. However, whether that time would come or not she would never know.
She kept herself busy by doing productive things such as helping the local Sheriff and Deputy with legal business or simply aiding the townsfolk. She loved her town, it was quiet and no one questioned anyone’s business, which seemed to keep things nice and safe. She also had an intense passion for gardening, which she cultivated twice a week by taking lessons from a local gnome.
As she woke from a horrid dream about a land where everyone cut all social contact and focused on their own desires by turning off their thought processes through music, girls and booze, she realized it was time for her to meet her with friend the gnome for a gardening lesson. As she arrived to his cherished little house, she was shocked to see her ex-husband’s name written on the head of the door. Had the gnome done the unthinkable and sold his house? She hurried inside to find out.
As she stepped in the door someone jumped on top of her. Startled and shocked she yelled, but it was only the gnome. He stared at her and smiled as he look nervously around, for what purpose she did not know. Then after a moment he thrust himself upon her. His hands were unwavering as they searched her, clawing like a beast in a gnomes body. Dear Delina knew not what had come over the gnome, he had always been a good gnome, more gentle then a butterfly. No matter what he had been though, Delina was more concerned with what he currently was, which definitely wasn’t what he was prior this wretched happening. Delina rushed out of the house sobbing. Had the world conspired against her? Would she never gain peace? Her final outlet had dried out.
Delina rushed to her sons house, informing him of what had happened. He was infuriated, and while he tried to comfort her, he seemed too busy gathering tinder boxes to pay much attention to her cries. Instead, he told her to go to the local sheriff’s department and inform the sheriff and deputy of what had happened. She cried goodbye to her son as she obeyed and departed.
Poor Delina’s sorrows were multiplied beyond her imagination that day. She felt as though she had entered a hellish nightmare when she entered to the sheriff’s station to see him cutting away at her lost lover. Before she knew what had happened, she found herself kneeling next to two bodies, one that belonged to the sheriff and the other to her ex-husband. She figured she must have had a hand in the death of the sheriff though she could not recall it. She was too occupied with crying over the corpse of her dear lost husband. She could have sworn the words “I love you” to be written on his lips, screaming to escape, but they did not. He was dead.
The sheriffs brother and deputy then crashed into the room, wild with grief at the sight of his dead brother. He hurriedly tied Delina to a chair, but not until she had written a letter to her son. It seemed to her that he did not mind what the letter said, he was out of his mind and had no sense of right or wrong. She did not have much time to write, so she simply said “To my dear son Oxford, Dad and Mom are home. Please thank the deputy for me.”
Delina was focusing to deeply on her broken heart to notice the arrow that pierced it moments after she had been fastened to the chair. She knew no regrets as her eyes went dark. She was back home.

Satisfy, Raffagan, Satisfy: Raffagan the Evil

Once upon a time…

… there lived a craft and sneaky Sheriff named Raffagan Aggle. Raffagan had originally been a good man that upheld the law properly, which is why the townsfolk loved him. It was a sad day when he ventured into the lands of greed, lust and hate. And while he had become an, essentially, evil goblin, he retained face in front of the people of the town and his dear brother, which is why they still saw him as a just man. Raffagan’s brother was slower then most folk, but he was well meaning and loved Raffagan very much. Raffagan took this to his advantage and used his brothers faulty trust as a means to get what he wanted more easily, and at the moment what he wanted was land, and it just so happened he knew the land he wanted.
There lived a young gnome down the road from his station that lived in a very beautiful house. Many said that his family had handed it down to him and that the gnomes who had lived in the house prior to him always treated the house with the utmost respect and love. The love that had been poured into the creation and upkeep of the house seemed to resonate from it, shining out and sending happiness into all that saw it. Raffagan needed that house, and having the trust of the people he did what he wanted, and what he wanted was to put the house of for sale, which is what he did.
His plan was to sell the house, to non other then himself. The logic behind this plan is not very sturdy, but when you’re the law of the land, especially Raffagan’s land, logic doesn’t matter. The corrupt Raffagan spent the day rolling In his money, engaging in sinful acts which were not spoken of at the time, and explored the perversity of his desires. Later in the evening when he was walking by the property which was soon to be his, he saw something that made his oil boil. A sign that read “Xeni’s House, Fandy’s Business” stood above the door of the house. If this was the case, Sheriff Raffagan knew he could not escape without gaining suspicion from the town, as it was common knowledge that no business, whatever the circumstance, may be un-businessed or de-buildinged.
Enraged at this news, Raffagan called upon Fandy Xeni, and requested that they come to his station as soon as was physically possible. It was an urgent matter. Being a law-abiding citizen, Fandy arrived on the hour. Raffagan was dismayed to find that Xeni had failed to show up. No matter, Fandy was the only one that that he really needed dispersed in order for his wishes to be fully fulfilled.
As Raffagan thrust his wishes and desires into Fandy’s chest, repeatedly, he thought for a moment that this search to satisfy his own wants might not be the most productive ambition. However, it seems that as he cut away at Fandy’s body the same knife cut away at Raffagan’s soul, removing any sense of morality, virtue or compassion. Fandy hit the floor. Raffagan had finished his work.
Raffagan was startled to hear a yelp behind him. He turned to see someone he had not seen before, but it was obvious she had seen him. Before she had time to leave Raffagan locked the door, he could not allow her to escape. She yelled and begged as Raffagan stabbed and slashed at the air around her with his words, eyes and blade. It was clear he would soon be cleaning up two victims in his office. Right as was about to deal the fatal plunge however, he felt his leg go stiff. Fandy was holding him with both his arms wrapped around his leg. The table was then tilted as his victim-soon-to-be snatched the blade from his hands and used it to seal his mouth closed by opening his throat.
As Raffagan gasped for words of hate and rage, nothing came. Nothing except hollow ghosts of words escaped his gawking head as it hit the floor with a definite thump.

Misperceive, Ontany, Misperceive: Ontany

Once upon a time…

… Ontany Aggle was strolling the streets with his brother. They were happy goblins, and loved by many in the town where they resided. Ontany took pride in his work and in the work of his brother, for had it not been for them the town would be un utter chaos and tragedy. All this Ontany knew to be true, for his brother had always been a good man, and would never change into the men he removed from society.
One day after he had assisted his friend with some emotional problems, his brother with some legal problems, and the fire department with some fire problems, he decided he would saunter back to work and see if his brother needed any more help, or more appropriately, he left to see if the town needed help. Nothing could be better in Ontanty’s life, he had it all. Respect, love, and a kind brother, he saw all things as he wanted.
Like anyone that ignores the truth though, Ontany would be forced to face up to reality eventually. This meeting between Ontany and the acceptance of truth was to occur when he arrived at the police station to see a two bodies sprawled on the floor, one of which used to contain the soul of his brother, and next to the other body lay a lady dwarf crying and holding the lifeless shell that used to be, as Ontany knew it, her old husband.
Ontany rushed to his brother, yelling his name, Ontany begged his dead brother to respond. He did not. Ontanty mourned, how could anyone have killed his brother? For that is what must have happened, the blood on his brothers badge and cloths were signs that this was no natural death. Then he saw the knife. A long and shiny knife, covered in blood, laying next to the crying dwarf. He looked at her sharply, and he demanded to know what had happened. She told him that a gnome had forced himself upon her earlier, and that she had come to Ontany’s brother for assistance. When she got to him though, she was shocked to see him forcing a knife into her ex-husband, obviously against his will. Ontany could not except this, he took every word the sad dwarf said to be a lie. His brother could never do the things she said. He told her to stop and tell the truth, to admit why she killed his brother, but she kept crying and speaking. The lady dwarf told Ontany that when she saw his brother killing her old husband she yelled, and that after Ontany’s brother had become aware of her presence, he attacked her as well. She said that she managed to obtain the knife and return the favor he had so willingly given her husband. This concluded her story, and Ontany was done listening. He asked her if there was anything she wanted to do before he bestowed upon her what she bestowed upon Ontatny’s brother, and Ontany’s brother to her husband. She asked to write a message. He let her use and old scrap of paper to write a short letter which she attached to one of the many messenger birds that roamed the land.
After the letter had been completed and sent off to her son, Ontany tied the dwarf to a chair. She begged and cried as he applied an arrow to his bow. Ontany was a good goblin, loved by all, he upheld the law and he was always right. He saw everything as he wanted to, and it was good. Even after he had let a shaft loose from the bow and into the dwarf he was confident in his judgment. Anyone that murdered, or was involved with a murder, deserved to die for this was the law he upheld in the town. Now it as time for him to visit the son of the lady dwarf he had just rightfully slain and see what part he had to play in the demise of his dear brother.

Die, Fandy, Die: Fandy Peddleguire

Once upon a time…

… there died a dwarf who was legally addressed as Fandy Peddlguire. He was a loving dwarf, who had two fierce loves, that of his wife and that of his business. The same love could sadly, not be referenced when referring to his son, who had become morose and lost after his parents divorced. This divorce however, was something Fandy recognized as a mistake, and he was willing to give his life to gain his life back. However, he needed a means of doing so, which is why the approach and charity of his son’s friend seemed to be a God-given gift. Had he known the true price he would have to pay for helping his helper though, he might not have acted in a similar tradition. For this price, was his life. Fandy knew this to be true the moment a long and shiny knife searched him in places no one had been, or ever would be, again.
As Fandy dropped to his knees, several thoughts rushed through his thinking. Why was this happening? What had he done? He knew not why this was happening. He knew it must have something to do with his new friend, but as for the specifics of the reasons he knew not. Fandy did however, know the answer to the final question. He had helped someone that needed protection from someone more powerful then himself, and he had divorced his wife, and he had lost his son. The last thoughts that pierced through Fandy sharper then the knife who was doing the same were not those for himself, but those of this lost wife and son that he yearned for. As his blood rushed through his body and onto the floor Fandy realized that the worst thing that can happen is not losing your life, but losing your love, whatever that may be. His eyes were going grey, but he was forced out of his daze by tears which were hitting his face. His dear, beloved, lost, love, was kneeling over him, crying. This was the end for sad Fandy.

Cry, Xeni, Cry: Xeni the Gnome

Once upon a time…

… a humble and well-meaning gnome name Xeni dwelt in a house that his grandfather had erected for his father, who made it his life’s work to maintain for his son. Xeni, recognizing the sacrifices his forefathers made, committed his life to protecting his house, keeping it tidy until he one day had a family. However, there lived a sneaky person that was greatly interested in taking advantage of others, and when he saw the price that land such as Xeni’s could yield, he quickly put Xeni’s house up for purchase, without even thinking to inform darling Xeni of his actions. Now, in most world’s, selling someone else’s house would not be a permissible act, but the sneaky person that did the doing had authority which was backed by law, and this law stated he was in charge.
Helpless against the sneaky person’s crafty ways and position in the law, Xeni consulted his friend about on the issue. His friend however, scared to fight the law, directed Xeni to a small business ran by Fandy Peddleguire.
After Xeni had unloaded his tale into Fandy’s mind for input, Fandy agreed to help the helpless Xeni. Before he could give any aid to Xeni though, Sandy said that he first had to try re-communicate his affection towards a past wife whom he wrongfully divorced. As it turned out, Fandy required help in arranging a meeting with his former wife, and Xeni was just the gnome to do it as he was Sandy’s Wife’s gardening counselor, and he met with her twice a week to discuss plants and the such.
Convinced that Xeni’s plan would work, Fandy agreed to assist him on the spot, and informed Xeni that if he allowed him to run his business from inside Xeni’s house the sneaky person’s shenanigans to go on any longer, for in this land, businesses may not be un-erected.
The next day Xeni was walking to his house so that he could awaite the arrival of dear Fandy’s wife, which would allow him to so that his plan could be put into action, and his plan was this. As soon as Fandy’s wife made herself present for gardening lessons, Fandy would get slightly fresher with her then his plants, which would be the signal for Fandy to reveal himself and “save” his wife from Xeni’s Columbus like hands.
When Fandy’s short-lost love had finally made herself present, Xeni began to act. However, after a few moments of his unwanted fondles, Fandy did not arrive, and so Xeni figured that he must have not been rough enough, for maybe Fandy thought this was how he always behaved and that it was nothing out of the normal. It was this thought process that lead to Xeni being more aggressive then initially planned. After several moments of improper handling with Fandy’s wife, she bolted out the door in tears leaving Xeni standing alone, and ashamed. Fandy was no where to be found.
That night Xeni had horrible dreams of the after-life that might await those who behaved such as he had earlier that day. It was not a jolly dream, and instead of the usual flowers and dandy memories that often graced his wandering and sleeping mind, he was plagued with images of death, rape, eternal damnation and fire. He then awoke screaming to see that all of his possessions had been lit aflame, and not only his possessions, but his dear house that had been handed down to him was also basking in fires from Hades. Was this God? Was he finally dealing out Xeni’s punishment, to burn the only thing he had cared for? Maybe instead of striking Xeni down on the spot of his foul actions he decided to wait until the night and hit him where it hurt most.
Xeni Rushed outside to find help, to get some means of putting the fierce flames to rest. When Xeni made it outside, he immediately saw that his losses were worse. His garden had been ripped to shreds and his tools lay everywhere, broken and shattered against the shredded ground and uprooted roots of his beloved life. He then saw a man standing before him, eyes lit red by the foul flame that plagued Xeni’s life. Here was the man that had ruined him. The mere sight of the mortal that had done this to Xeni filled him with undying rage, and Xeni could do nothing but charge his oppressor. He saw the stranger stoop down and pick something off the ground, it must have been one of his tools. Actually, Xeni was positive this was one of his tools, for this was very easy for him to decipher up close after his gardening shovel his penetrated his impish arm and sent searing pain through his soul, which was not long for his short body. After repeated strikes from the unknown figure, Xeni’s mind went blank, and he knew no more.

Kill, Oxford, Kill: An Introduction

Below is a story I wrote. I wrote this story on my birthday. Considering the content and complete oddness of the tale however, I would not like this story to be associated with my birthday, or thought of as my birthday story. I set out writing this with no goals in mind. The ending reflects cliched endings that think they have something to say, but as we all (hope) we know, they don't.


Once upon a time…

… there existed a snub and passive dwarf who was addressed by the name Oxford, however he was originally christened as Pappy Peddleguire. Oxford was around 3 feet in height and 2 feet in width. He had two petite but burly arms that both served as his primary means of causing discomfort on others. This was made especially clear when he uprooted the life from a local gnome with a gardening shovel. He did not take the time to pile the pieces before he left.
One day, after Oxford had been busily busying businesses with certain fires which he gleefully took credit for, the friendly neighborhood deputy came to discuss whether or not our dwarf had been involved in the untimely demise of the sheriff. However, upon arrival the deputy was surprise to be greeted by the blunt, yet ever so penetrating smack of a pickaxe to his face. Had he been living longer then that moment he no doubt would have taken this as an offensive greeting from dear Oxford, but as is not the case no such thought crossed his mind after the pickaxe did.
At this point in the tale I am going to assume that readers are scratching their heads in bewilderment as to why Oxford is the character he is, and it would not be surprising to be equally interested in why the author chose to fashion a character as such. The answer is one of finite simplicity, and that is this. There is no purpose, there is no reason. The only thing that exists in this life is Oxford, and you are him. ZOMG!

Doomsday

(note: forgive the spelling errors)

Whoever concieved this piece deserves some recognition for at least making something entirely wierd. It seems as if the director (whome I later discovered also directed the horror fiasco "The Descent") wanted to make a zombie movie, a medeval movie, a punk/mad max style movie and a cannable movie but only had enough money to make one film so he simply combined all the different genres into one. The trailer boasts that "nothing you've ever seen" will amount to the greatness of this movie, and that it is entirely new and original. On the contarary, literally EVERY aspect of this movie steals from another movie. If you simply took these movies

28 days later
the mad max trilogy
escape from new york
underworld
with just a dash of robin hood

you could essentially re-edit them all together to creat this movie. I am one hundered percent serious.
I went to this picture expecting a really bad but entertaining movie that stole elements from many of my favorite films, primarily Mad Max. I was partially pleased, but still let down. Even though flesh-eating punk-like cannabils graced the screen, the majority of the movie was so awful that it made the scenes I wanted to like fairly hard to view. I'm just thankful that the movie was as bad as it was, for if it had been better it would have been even worse to watch.

DC's Best by the Best

I have decided I am going to conduct an operation that's prime objective is this: Create an "album" composed entirely out of my favorite songs by my favorite bands and then issue those cds out to my friends. I will not include favorite songs in general, just two or three songs by my favorites bands, past and present. Those bands being...

The Zombies
The Clash
The Pixies
The Fratellis
Vampire Weekend
The Kinks
The Who
Queen
The White Stripes
Ok Go
Velvet Underground

(the list is in perfect order from favorite to least)

I'm pretty excited about this. It'll be my birthday gift to my self to everyone. I'm also thinking of including a little sheet explaining the songs and the artists place, I'm not going to try to persuade anyone into liking what I do, but hopefully people will see something like they in what I love.

South Park: Season 12

The 12th season of the (brilliant) television show South Park began last week with an episode dealing with HIV and cancer. I have not seen the most recent episode, but after reading an artical on it I decided that I'd post the artical here for anyone that sadly might have missed the show. I could not agree more with this episode, and the ending is one of the kind that is almost too horrifying to be real, the sad thing being it isn't.

"How I Met Your Mother may be Britney Spears TV guest spot of choice this month, but it's not her only one.

The life and times of the beleaguered pop star got even more cartoonish Wednesday night, when Spears was given the full-on South Park treatment, with her animated alter ego suffering through a botched suicide attempt and, ultimately, death-by-camera-flash.

More thought-provoking than hilarity-inducing (though featuring a fair amount of yuks), the episode not only skewered Spears as the Comedy Central show had done with Tom Cruise and Marilyn Manson before, but also targeted the relentless media attention on the Blackout star and the indifference to her plight of her many hangers-on.

The episode, dubbed "Britney's New Look," available to watch in its entirety on FunnyOrDie.com, begins with a "Britney Watch" breaking news update interrupting a Democratic presidential primary debate: Spears, camping near South Park, has been caught on camera peeing on a ladybug.

After learning of the hefty payday that results from such an embarrassing amateur snap, Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny pass themselves off as Spears' sons and a squirrel, respectively, and sneak into the singer's local hotel room, where she is desolate over her newly-perceived hatred of the red and black bugs.

Still passing themselves off as her Federtots, the boys enter her room and, after Spears learns she's been tricked and her beloved boys are not there after all, she sticks a rifle in her mouth and pulls the trigger, blowing off more than a majority of her head and leaving the foursome in stunned silence.

Quick to spot an opportunity for reinvention, Spears' manager, after learning that the singer survived the gunshot wound with little more than a chin and a garbled, incoherent way of speaking, fast tracks the star back into the recording studio and on to the stage at the MTV Music Awards, where her suicide attempt is ignored, but where she is roundly criticized for being "chubby," "lip-synching"—despite having no lips—and for her "crazy, radical, no-top-of-head look."

To give her some semblance of peace, Kyle and Stan hatch a plan to take the headless singer to the North Pole, only to learn en route of a mass public conspiracy aimed at killing Spears. The reporters, photographers and "Britney Watch" voyeurs explain that they need Spears to die so that they can offer her up as a human sacrifice for their annual corn harvest.

After a last-ditch, unsuccessful plea from Kyle ("You guys are going to end up killing her. I know watching celebrities go down can be fun...but maybe it's time to let this one go."), the mob descends on Spears and ultimately kills her with the relentless flashes from their cameras.

Only after the headless Spears lies lifeless on the field does the group agree "it's time for us to leave the poor girl alone."

As the screen cuts to shots of the year's bountiful corn harvest and the South Park citizens reaping the benefits in their local supermarket, the store's television just happens to switch on to Entertainment Tonight, which features a segment on 15-year-old Hannah Montana superstar and pop culture's newest princess, Miley Cyrus."

Superbad

This movie is an infectuous disease that has infected the world, and the world LOVES it. This movie is having a larger impact on my generation then any other movie i've heard of or seen. Viewing "Superbad" is now a right of passage, at least my school, and I find the reason people love it so much is because it is real. It holds and showcases the lifestyle everyone lives and loves, and it's really really (bad pun warning) superbad.

Say Anything

Say Anything is a fantastic romantic comedy from the boppin' n' hoppin' 80's. Interestingly enough though, the soundtrack doesn't contain any familiar music from the time, just familiar 80's sounds.
John Cusack stars as the lower class highschool graduate that decides he's going to chase the girl of his dreams. Movie ensues.
That's all there really is too it. It's simple. I found the movie really funny, and it has one of the most classic "romantic" scenes I've ever seen or heard of in a movie. Besides being just a good movie though there isn't much else.

The Future Is Unwritten

This is a documentary on the life of Joe Strummer before, during and after his life with the Clash. It is directed by Julien Temple, who also fashioned "The Filth and the Fury" documentary about the controversial Sex Pistols, and is arguably the greatest rockumentary/music documentary of all time.
Being a fan of the Clash isn't necessary to view this film as it is about a man and his journey through life, of which the clash happen to be a part of. The story of Strummer's is a fantastic one that should be heard more oft. Apart from the story, the "direction" is superb. Julien Temple has fashioned the documentary completely (with the exception of fantastic interviews) of stock footage. Whether this be footage of strummer's life or just random footage that represent the times, it all propels the movie forward.
This is not "The Filth and the Fury" (for better or worse) and has a more redeeming ending. I recommend highly for anyone that likes inspirational stories about inspiring individuals.

Lone Wolf and his Cub: Sword of Vengeance

This is the first of 6 overly bloody samurai films from the 70's, and with that bit of information many are probably already disinterested in this movie. However, I'd like to present some views that might alternate your stance on this movie and movies like it.
My first experience with this series entitled "The Lone Wolf and Cub series" was the film "Shogun Assassin". Many have heard me talk about this movie, especially since it was probably the first true exploitation movie I watched. Shogun Assassin had terrible voiceovers, but that couldn't change because Shogun Assassin was meant for the american audience. What I found recently, is that Shogun Assassin is not an original movie, and is simply compiled of footage from the first two "Lone Wolf and Cub" films that forms a slightly new story and pace. After I discovered this I had to see the "originals".
True enough, the first Lone Wolf film was the primary first section of Shogun Assassin, however I was surprised to find that instead of the terrible dialogue that "Shogun" presented, there was actually smart and compelling writing. The story was another big change. The purpose of Shogun Assassin was to kill as many people as possible within the movies running time, the purpose of the first Lone Wolf film to is set up a compelling plot and characters that have depth. Which it does.
Before I explain the plot, I would like to explain that this 6 movie series is a true series of movies that all connect. Unlike (too) many trilogies today that don't bother to relate to each other plot-wise, the lone wolf and cub series actually starts the plot with the first movie, and ends the plot with film 6, which is admirable considering the amount of movie franchises that just grow for money, no the progression of story.
Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance is about an executioner for the royal shogunat who's name is Ogami (the lead man guy person). The empire is in decline, and corrupt leaders are looking for any reason to have clan-leaders executed. Many clan-leaders are falsely accused and sentenced to die at the hand of Ogami. It does not take long before the followers of fallen leaders get rather irate at Ogami for killing their lords under the order of the shogun. A plot is set up to have Ogami and his family slain. Men conspire and frame Ogami for a false crime regarding a planned assassination for his leader. He arrives home to find his wife dying and all his servants slain, his wife's last words are the name of their son, who is still safe with Ogami. Soon, the Shogun's followers arrive, and Ogami soon realizes that they have been bribed to kill him. Along with this, he sees that the men who killed his wife were forced to by these same men, and after the act slain and framed for suicide. Instead of surrendering and offering himself up Ogami takes his son and fights back with the knowledge that his is being wrongfully wronged. And so begins the 6 film series of the Lone Wolf and his Cub, and their search for the clan that has caused them so much grief.
After Ogami leaves with his son for their journey halfway through the film, the plot switches and focuses on a village that is being slowly pillaged by ruthless bandits. Ogami saves the day, credits roll.
This isn't a spectacular movie, and it does still retain some rather "cheesy" 70's gimmicks. Amidst all this though, I was happy to find that this movie also holds a compelling and rich plot, especially for a revenge film.

Killer Web

Please go to this link, and then go to the link in this link. This is part of Director/Writer Kevin Smith's blog. Truly Horrible story.

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=366

The Wanderers

Think of the wanderers as "The Outsiders" meets "The Warriors" meets "West Side Story", except with no specific plot. The Wanderers is about an italian gang called (tada) The Wanderers which is composed mostly of high school students play by mid twenty year olds. The story, or lack thereof, takes place in 1963 New York City.
The movie doesn't have a very good balance of drama and comedy, and it is not infrequent that scenes which seem a though they should be knuckle biting aren't that tense at all. However, the movie does maintain the sense of freedom and fun throughout, that you'd expect about a group of boys in the 60's. Their antics are wild, and you can sense the tension between all the races throughout the entire movie.
This isn't really a good movie, but it is a very fun one. The incredible soundtrack certainly helps propell this movie into the "fun" zone. All the characters are very full and developed, containing real personality which also helps. Some of the incidints in the movie are pretty ridiculous, but that's forgivable. It's not a masterpiece, but it's a fun coming of age trip into 1960's upbeat New York gang life.

Rollerball (1975)

This is a fantastic movie, yet there is surprisng little action, and more social commentary. I found myself a little dissapointed not with the ending it self, but with how they presented it. Rollerball reminded me a lot of Gladiator, not because they play a deadly game, but because the main character has many similarities with the famous Maximus. I have no clue why this movie is rated R, as there is not ONE swear word, zero nudity, rather mild and mostly bloodless (but intense) violence. This movie suceeds as being a good movie, nothing more, nothing less.

Where are all the good men dead?

I found these rather unsettling, especially since many of them came from people that I would not have suspected of being so shrude.


"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma."

- Abraham Lincoln, American president (1809-1865).

"There is so much in the bible against which every insinct of my being rebels, so much so that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the knowledge I have gained of its history and sources compensates me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention."

-Helen Keller, American lecturer

"Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror."
Voltaire

"Lighthouses are more helpful then churches."
-Benjamin Franklin

"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Charles Schultz, American cartoonist (1922-2000).
In an interview in 1999, Schultz said that although his philosophical views evolved over the years, "the term that best describes me now is 'secular humanist.'" He went on to say, "I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying--I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham [Dennis' creator] has any deep knowledge of things like that." Schultz cringed at the mention of Family Circus, the strip by Bill Keane that is strewn with cutesy references to Jesus (who wants to protect children on school buses, but can't because of laws about separation of church and state!) and those sickly-sweet images of invisible deceased grandparents looming protectively over the kids. "Oh, I can't stand that," Schultz laughed. "You could get diabetes reading them, couldn't you?"


Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain"
"Faith is believing something you know ain’t true."

"If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be -- a Christian."

"It (the Bible) is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies."

"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."

"Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light … by contrast."

"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force."

"If there is a God, he is a malign thug."

"I was born a heretic. I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows."
- Susan B. Anthony

"Religions are all alike – founded upon fables and mythologies."
-Thomas Jefferson

"Religion is all bunk."
Thomas Edison


:( what's up with this?):

Mo (hardcore) Quotes

I thought I'd write some more of what others have to say and less of what I have to say, as the only good thing I can say is what they don't, which isn't much. That's not to say I agree with them.

I got a little carried away on the last little section which is all about Joe Strummer.

A radical is a man with both feet planted firmly in the air
- Unknown

"Dare to be naive."
- Buckminster Fuller

The great virtue of my radicalism lies in the fact that I am perfectly ready, if necessary, to be radical on the conservative side
- Theodore Roosevelt

"If you obey all the rules you will miss the fun."
- Katherine Hepburn

"In order to find the edge, you must risk going over the edge."
- Dennis Dugan

I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version
- Oliver North

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."
- Oscar Wilde

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
- Helen Keller

"Only the poor knew the meaning of life; the rich and the safe had to guess."
- Charles Bukowsky

"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
- George Orwell

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."
- John F. Kennedy

"Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time."
- H.L. Mencken

"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
- John Cage

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups."
- John Kenneth Galbraith

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are just rearranging their prejudices."
- William James

"What all men fear, I too must fear - how barren and pointless a thought!
- Tao Te Ching

"People who are willing to give up freedom for the sake of short term security, deserve neither freedom nor security." - Benjamin Franklin

"Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"By logic and reason we die hourly. By imagination we live." - John Butler Yeats

"Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is."
- Will Rogers

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
- Abraham Lincoln

What I like about playing America is you can be pretty sure you're not going to get hit with a full can of beer when you're singing and I really enjoy that!
- Joe Strummer

When you blame yourself, you learn from it. If you blame someone else, you don't learn nothing, cause hey, it's not your fault, it's his fault, over there.
- Joe Strummer

“Feeling lucky punk? Oh, good.”
- Joe Strummer

“The Future is Unwritten”
- Joe Strummer

(the following are on the late Joe Strummer (2003))

"The most profound voice of any musician I have ever heard, Joe took his message to the world and the world listened. He managed to influence more than one generation with his innovative and determined manner and I am not alone in repeatedly turning to his thoughts and lyrics when searching for inspiration. The Clash was the greatest rock band."
- Bono -

"The Clash turned punk into a proper political movement, and Joe Strummer showed recently that he still had much of value to say. It is a terrible tragedy to lose him at this early age."
- David Bowie -

"Joe was not just a great bloke - he was also a great musician who wasn't afraid to take a chance and write lyrics that made a difference. His death is a very sad day for the music scene. Yet again it's one of the good guys who's died young."
- Glen Matlock, The Sex Pistols -

"Numb, gutted & shocked - 3 words that sum up how I feel. Passionate, principled, genius - 3 words that sum up Joe Strummer."
- Martin Scorcese -

"The Clash were a major influence on my own music, they were the best rock n roll band. Thanks Joe!! "
- Bruce Springsteen-

"I'm very, very sad at the news of Joe's death. I cannot pretend that we were that close but I am a great admirer of his songs and lyrics. The last time I saw Joe, we were driving through Notting Hill at 60mph in his Hot Rod VW. I think that this says a lot about him and his spirit. My thoughts are with his family and friends."
- Elvis Costello -

Ha ha (lovely quotes)

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

The best reason for having dreams is that in dreams no reasons are necessary
Author: Ashleigh (Ellwood) Brilliant

"Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems."
- Rene Descartes (1596-1650), "Discours de la Methode"

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. - When Harry Met Sally

"This is the first day of the rest of out lives" - Dante, Clerks II

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look once in awhile, you could miss it
- Ferris Beuler
Ferris Beuler's Day Off

My dear boy, if God had intended for us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates
- Willy Wonka

Friends are thieves of time.
- Francis Bacon

If we are to abolish the death penalty, I should like to see the first step taken by my friends the murderers.
- Alphonse Karr

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
- Emo Philips

I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet
- Henry Youngman

If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
- John Wayne

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
- Dick Cavett

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
- Emo Philips

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
- Robert Frost:

Bill: Do you find me sadistic? You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic.
The Bride: Bill, it's your baby.
BANG!
- Kill Bill

“You should have to pass an IQ test before you breed. You have to take a driving test to operate vehicles and an SAT test to get into college. So why dont you have to take some sort of test before you give birth to children? When I am President, thats the first rule I will institute.”
- Marilyn Manson

Greatest Remakes of All Time

As I started to write this I realised that I haven't seen many good remakes. I wanted to debunk the statement "all remakes are bad!" but I realised I can't do that with my knowledge. I was going to list John Carpenter's "The Thing" as the greatest remake, but I realized that I haven't seen the original, although I believe that claim. I would like to give Dawn of the Dead (2004) a little shoutout though, for being a good remake of a sequel whos original has never been remade.

Greatest Sequels of All Time

I was thinking of doing some posts regarding the greatest "action" movies of all time, proceeding to go through the genres. However, I thought it would be much better to focus on a far less discussed subject, the best sequels of all time. I will hopefully also do a later post on the best re-makes of all time. Note that when I say "all time" I mean solely "within my knowledge" *chuckle*. Even though my views on the following movies are my sole opinions, I will try to present my case with some logic. Also, I am not going to grade them on a better "1-10" scale. These are not ordered in importance. Whether not these are good movies is up to the individual, although I feel that their status as a better movie then their predecessor is less debatable.

Terminator 2: Not only is this a great sequel, but it's a great movie.

Desperado: One of a the great things about this sequel is that it holds its own, and could easily be a stand alone film, however that does make it less of a sequel. On top of being a great sequel, it's a spectacular action movie, and while not being a comedy directly, it has more humor then most comedy films. The writing, the plot and the action are all classic. It's a fun movie, not Oscar material in the slightest, but it has admirable qualities that many films of this genre lack entirely. The movie feels like an old fairy tale western, which I welcome.

The Empire Strikes Back: Ending a movie with the line "I am your father!" is possible the most genius ending ever (or at least for this movie, it obviously wouldn't work for all films). I'm serious. I think too many people forget how intense it was after that movie was released. The ultimate cliffhanger. I haven't seen a trilogy yet that has had a more deserving sequel. The Matrix Reloaded feebly tried to have a "cliffhanger" type ending, but it in no way holds the same plot impact as the famous line in The Empire Strikes Back.

The Road Warrior: Even though I said I would not rate films from best to worst, I would like to say that this is the best sequel of all time. I will hold firm to this, and thankfully, many people agree with me. This is a classic and groundbreaking action movie, that is too oft overlooked. PICK THIS UP AND WATCH IT (but not before you've wasted your time with it's predecessor "Mad Max").

A Fault In Schooling

What's better/worse? Learning nothing but getting perfect marks, or getting mediocre marks but learning a substantial amount? My experience in school is that it doesn't matter what you learn as long as it looks good on your transcript. This is not how it should be, but it is unfortunately how it is. Too many teachers focus on getting through the curriculum instead of actually teaching. When teachers don't show an eagerness to do their job students thus don't have the will to do a decent job. It's not one groups fault whether a student passes or fails, but in this age, learning comes second to good marks.

The Big Hit

This is, lo and behold, a hitman comedy! wow! Although I haven't finished it yet, I felt compelled to write a review, because I don't see the movie getting any better.
Unlike other comedies about contract killers like "In Bruges" and "Grosse Pointe Blank", this one sucks. It just feels like a dark comedy that hollywood cranked out. What I mean by this is that all of the comedy is low-brow, and all of the dark comedy is cheap. The only thing that makes it enjoyable is Mark Walhberg, who plays the sweetest hitman you'll ever meet (unrealisticly so, making his character unbelievable and fake). Everything in the movie is far-fetched and un-original. I wanna watch Grosse Pointe Blank again.

On another note, I found that John Cusack is supposed to be in ANOTHER hitman comedy this year! Yay, I'll be there!

Strummer Insight

"There are two kinds of people in this room. One of them is men, and the other of them is women." - Joe Strummer

He then rambles on about how each sex should stick with what they are. I thought it was humorous to a high degree.

Vengeance Valley

This is a case where, thankfully, the production didn't damage the quality of the story. In 1951 this little western came out and I doubt it was very succesful, as it only cost around a dollar to buy. That doesn't mean this is a bad movie though, as I was thouroughly entertained throughout the entire picture.
This movie has surprisigly very little to do with "vengeance" and I'm going to assume the title was created as sort of an attraction piece. The movie itself is about two ranch hands and their relationship with a new mother. Oscar is one of these men, and the majority of the film is about his best friend (the other man) that covers up for Oscar, as he is the man that impregnated the young lady. This is a great character study and fab little feature, and to my glee, the copy of the film I saw was as scratched up as ever.

Riki-Oh

This movie makes up for every lame exploitation film I've ever seen (I've seen a lot). This movie is what I wish all those movies were. This movie is the definition of "Grindhouse Cinema". This is easily the 2nd goriest, silliest, funniest movie of it's genre that I've seen.
The films I would compare this to are...

The Killer: An amazing chinese-gunslinging-action-masterpiece, with dubbing so bad it was placed in the comedy section of most video stores.

and

Braindead: Peter Jackson’s zombie romp which contains more wit and ridiculous gore than should be allowed.

Riki-Oh is a martial arts film about a mega-strong fighter that enters a prison that's controlled by the prisoners within. He aims to bring peace in the prison...
This movie was surprisingly made in 1991, but it's near impossible to tell, as even the clearest prints of the movie still have all the scratches and dust that most movies of it's genre contain.
THIS IS NOT a movie for everyone, but everyone should see it. There aren't words to describe how perfect this movie is. This is an exploitation film, to the highest degree. Everything is beautifully cliché and outrageously spectacular. The dubbing is ultra similar to the dubbing in "The Killer" and it works perfectly. This movie is amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

In Bruges

It's a little early for me to make any drastic decisions regarding how much I like this movie, but to give some reference on how much I love this movie I'll say this. It could very easily be in my top 10 favorite movies of all time. However, the obscurity of the movie itself might make it a very different experience depending on who you are.
I was very intrigued in this film from the moment I saw the trailer, however I can't say the same for my friends. The movie is about two hitmen that go to hide out in the quiet village called Bruges. However, after their arrival things don't stay peaceful for long. The only movie I think I can compare this to is last years "Hot Fuzz". Although, the humor displayed in this film is much different, and the movie itself is far more serious. This is one of the reasons I loved this movie.
The mixture of humor and drama in this movie is perfect, and never odd. It is also miraculous that this is the director’s debut film (which is probably why it has such a small release). In terms of a good movie, this is a good movie. Direction, writing, musical score, ACTING and story are all magnificent. I can see how dislike for this movie would not be difficult, as it is NOT your traditional kind of movie. It also isn't an action movie, in the slightest, but that doesn't stop the violence from being some of the harshest I've seen.
This is a delightful comedy, and the humor isn't only dark. To be fair it does have it's share of dark humor, but I was pleased to see that the majority of the movie's comedy was genuine, smart humor.
I should probably say that I WANTED to love this movie. I do. This movie is just so dang original and enjoyable that it warrants every bit of my adoration.

note: before you go running to see this with the family, as I know you all will, it should be noted that this movie sports really strong lingo, violence and some rather not-so-fun drug use. Let's give the director a pat on the back though for not including ANY nudity or sex scenes in this movie.

Battle of God's Children

Please read this discussion I found between these two and let me know what you think.

"You say we Christians think we are the elite ones, but the problem with that is Christianity is open to everyone. It is kind of like standing on two different sides of a ledge. The people on one side (the Christians) say, hey come over here with us, because your side is going to collapse, we know because the builder told us it was not safe. But all the people on the other side call us self righteous, or they say we think we are the elite. If we really were we would not say anything just wait until that side fell then pat ourselves on the back for being smarter than everyone else. Instead we try to tell people even though we know we will be looked down on and called names."

Okay. If that was all there is to it, I'd be fine with it. But it isn't. I oughta tell you up front that I'm not a foaming-at-the-mouth God-stomper; in fact I myself have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. But that filling of the well is all the good that the church did for me. The church which I formerly attended for an extended period of time (and other churches in my area, for that matter) pride themselves on knowing what's what. They do no accept questions nor do they allow for open minds. Young women were cautioned that any non-Christian young man's affections they received would send them straight to hell. Youth were encouraged to start riots in the classroom against the teachers for using books which contained information regarding evolution. They were instructed to hunt down fellow youth and not leave them alone until they had consented to attend a youth meeting. I know this because once I was accosted by a simpering girl who seemed sure, oh-so-sure that I was a pathetic individual in need of Jesus' love. Little did she know that I had committed myself to Him years ago and had rarely faltered in my quiet daily discussions with Him. I let on as much later and she did not believe me; perhaps because I did not fancy pestering and nagging as a type of witnessing. It is not that I want people to go to hell--no, it's that I believe in doing things God's way; not the pastor's/minister's/reverend's way. Perhaps I am not making myself clear. I am pro-choice, vehemently so; I put some stock in Darwin's theories and I do not believe that during the Holocaust 10 million people went to hell. I do not imagine that all those who partook in "free love" in the sixties went to hell, either, nor do I recoil in hate and loathing when someone of the Jewish or Muslim or Hindu faith enters the room.

I resent the flying spittle, the blatant t-shirts condemning me and the millions of people who agree with me about abortion to eternal damnation. I resent being told to rise up against those I love by a fat old man in a pink shirt and tie. I resent, fiercely, being told whom to love and laugh with and look at, for crying out loud. I love Jesus. Isn't that enough?

Not for some people. The church I formerly attended spurned blacks and Hispanics and Asians; if one wasn't a WMA one was a pariah no matter how much one loved God. I don't write this to trash them, or even as some veiled admittance to not witnessing much because I believe people have to Want to learn to do something before they learn it. I suppose I write this merely to show that there are such things as bad Christians. And there is such a thing as patience, and tolerance, and to have the two you have to believe that God WILL pull people to Him. But he'll pull the whole person, not just their resentful body. It's selfish to think one knows it all, especially about God of all things, and to deliver His judgement is not anyone's place on this earth.



His response

Well I am not sure why you wrote me. You seem to dislike what you think Christians are, yet you claim to be one. The point I tried to make on my website is one that I personally believe. Does that mean that everyone who claims to be a Christian acts that way or believes that? No, but that is not the point. Our guide is to be God's word and that is where I put my faith, not in what other people do or don't do. I would agree with you that the church you described has a problem. Christians should not act that way, that is not how God wants us to act, however, you have gone off the other side of the road. Being a Christian is not about a bunch of rules that you have to follow, however, you do have to follow Christ. From what you described about yourself you do not fall into that category either.

Let me explain: (Matthew 16:24 NIV) Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

(1 John 2:3-6 NIV) [3] We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands. [4] The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. [5] But if anyone obeys his word, God's love is truly made complete in him. This is how we know we are in him: [6] Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.

(1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV) [19] Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; [20] you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

You may not like any of those passages because they all show that your attitude is wrong. You don't want to be told whom to talk to or how to live, but God's word does tell you those things. So your problem is not so much with pushy Christians as it is with God. You say you are pro-choice. Okay, but can you honestly say that you believe that is okay with God? How can you honor God with your body, when you advocate killing unborn children? How can you claim to be denying yourself and following Christ when you want a choice so that you can kill a unwanted child and sidestep the responsibility? How can you claim to know Christ if you are not willing to follow His commandments?

You can blame all those 'other Christians' all you want, but the only one who will be standing with you when you face God will be you. You won't have anyone else to point to or to blame, it will be, what did you believe and how did you act. I will answer for my actions and my belief and so will the people you described to me, but so will you. You better find out what God expects and forget what people expect or want, because they don't matter.

Let me just tell you that I don't recoil in hate over anyone who happens to come into the room, so if you think all Christians do you are sadly mistaken. You also said you don't believe that 10 million people went to hell during the holocaust. Okay, but let me ask you a couple of questions. Do you believe there were 10 million people killed? Do you believe that those people we are talking about were Jews? Now do you believe that those 10 million people had accepted Christ as their savior? Unless you fool me, I think you will say yes to the first two questions and no to the last one.

If that is true, then you must believe that those 10 million people (excluding kids who were not old enough to make a decision) went to hell. You know why? Because that is what being a Christian means. Jesus said: (John 14:6 NIV) Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

There you have it, either they got to heaven by having Jesus as their Lord and Savior or they did not make it. It does not matter whether they claimed to be Jews or Christians, what mattered was if they had been saved through Jesus Christ or not. If you don't believe that, then quit claiming you are a Christian because that is the gospel message. That is not a message of hate it is a message of love. God will accept anyone, no matter what religion or race or sex they are if they will come to Him, admit that they are sinners, believe that Jesus died for them and rose again and then ask for forgiveness.

It is the same with all of mankind, whether they took part in the free love 60's or not. Either they accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior while they were alive or they did not make it to heaven, period.

(Romans 5:8 NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

You should get out your Bible are find out who God is and what His word says. Then decide if you want to be His follower or not.

Ralph

Rebellion and Childhood

I'm not too sure why I'm doing this, but this is another one of Eli Roth's blog entries. It's mainly about his anger with those that don't enjoy his movies, but he goes on a delightful tangent about childhood memories that I rather enjoyed.

"Well, I finally made one of those 2007 Top Ten lists. Ebert and Roeper voted "Hostel Part II" as the WORST FILM OF 2007. Actually, I lied, I share the honor with my friend Chris Sivertson, because Roeper voted "I Know Who Killed Me" as his worst film of the year, while guest critic Michael Phillips gave me the esteemed honor. Roeper actually goes out of his way to say that he would have put "Hostel II" and other "torture porn" films on his list, but they were never screened for critics, so he didn't waste his time watching them, because they're just trash where women get tortured, and he doesn't find that entertaining. It's amazing he's not wearing a Pope hat, splashing holy water on the DVDs. Richard Roeper - whose job is to watch movies last I checked - wouldn't dare pollute his eyes by lowering them to the sewer of our movies...movies he has let others define before he even sees them himself. I feel sorry for Darren Boussman, whose film "Saw 4" wasn't even given a chance to be on this list, because Richard Roeper was too decent a human being to even watch it. Thank God we have people like him keeping us safe by warning us against such evil. We should all write him a thank you note, but please don't tell him that torture porn is a ridiculous term made up by critics who don't understand or watch these films and that that sub-genre actually doesn't exist.

What's so unbelievable about the show is that this guy Michael Phillips actually goes on to say how talented I am, and that I could actually be "adding something to the horror genre instead of settling for dreck." It's pretty incredible - he says I'm "going to have a very successful career" and that if I want to "get myself out of the basement" I can do it, but that it's up to me. It's the weirdest compliment ever - it's as if he chose my film so he could single me out and teach me a lesson. My question is: why would I ever want to leave the basement? The basement is a very special place for me. The basement at our house was where we all hung out. Every day we'd play Atari for hours in the basement after school, it's where I watched every horror movie imaginable, and more importantly, it's where I shot all my first films. My super 8 movie "A Clickwork Orange" was made in that basement. When I was 11 I chopped up my brothers with a circular saw in "Splatter on the Linoleum" in that basement. We shot probably 50 movies down in that basement. We were allowed to make as much noise as we wanted down there. We could blast our music. We could put up any posters we wanted - Jim Rice, Iron Maiden, "Mother's Day", St. Pauli Girl, all those cheesy posters we won throwing darts at carnivals in Maine - as long as there was space you could just tape it up. The walls were peeling, but instead of repainting, we'd hang a poster for "Pieces" over the spot where it was crumbling. It was great. Every weekend in high school at the end of the night - no matter what we were doing - EVERYONE went back to our house and hung out in the basement. I'm very close in age to both my brothers and all our friends would hang out together pretty much every weekend from 1:00 AM on. We'd raid the kitchen, fire up some Celeste pizzas, grab the cookies, and stuff our faces. We'd be down there all night watching horror movies and Skinemax, playing Nintendo NES, rocking out, filming movies, and playing street hockey with our dog Atlas. Atlas was the most amazing German Shepherd, and everyone knew him, and he knew everyone. You could take slap shots from across the basement and Atlas would catch the ball in his mouth. He loved playing goalie. Even yesterday I was hanging pictures in my basement in Los Angeles and Gabe said to me "Are you sure you want so many posters up?" and I said "I want it to be just like the basement." He agreed. I actually went back to my parents house in Boston and got my torn up "Mother's Day" video poster so I could frame it and hang it up in my have a piece of The Basement with me in California. So when Michael Phillips says that I could get out of the basement if I wanted to, to him I say: fuck that. I love it in the basement. The basement's where you can relax and have fun and there are no rules, no bullshit, you can blast your music, hang any posters you want, trash your furniture, throw a football or play hockey indoors, and just hang out and have fun with your friends. And I would much rather spend my life in the basement than where this former theater critic is: up his own ass. That's a dark, depressing place to be, and I feel sorry for the people who are stuck there because they'll never get the enjoyment of watching these movies in the middle of the night with a group of friends.

And since I got such an overwhelmingly positive response to my "artwork" from 2nd grade, here's another drawing from my book. I was probably 7 when I drew this. My parents actually saved my report cards from that time, and my teacher wrote them that I was incredibly smart and creative, and I had exceptional storytelling ability, but that I was too focused on "toilet humor and violence". My parents' response was "He's an 8 year old boy." I've been getting the same criticism for almost 30 years. What can you do. Some things never change. Back to the basement I go... "

(the picture was a crudly drawn crayon poster for "Alien" sporting a big "R", someone saying "Don't Shoot!" and and alien popping out of someone's stomach. The rest isn't clear enough to decipher.)